sounds of the space age

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I'll smile when someone in Charlottesville makes a decent taco

Why the fucking hell can't anyone in this town make a good taco? I'm serious. My psychological wellbeing depends on me eating mexican food and it really fucks me when I can only eat burritos. I have nothing against atomic burrito. Though I've had better, it sure as hell wasn't in this state or even on this side of the Missi'p (Don't you even fucking MENTION chipotle or Qdoba or any of those other shit-slinging chain horse-shitteries. Guadalajara, Amigo's, and all those other "hot plate" Mexican joints are not good and don't even count. That shit is not even what I’m talking about. And the biggest offender of all, Baja Bean with the photos of Mexico on the wall to prove that the owner went there and did research to figure out how to make Baja-style food, makes me sick, not only in product, but in principle. Maybe you went to Baja but going to Baja did not put a stop to your ineptitude) (YES you may have seen me eat in one of more of these establishments. YES I eat at them all at one time or another. You must understand how badly I NEED Mexican food. To me these shitty places are like drinking water from a rusty canteen- it tastes like hell but when you've been crawling thirsty through the desert you don't complain about the aftertaste). The problem is that between the burritos I eat at atomic and the burritos I eat in my home, I end up eating burritos about 1.5 meals a day (on average). I NEED A FUCKING TACO. I heard good things about this place called Aqui es Mexico down by the C'ville Market. I went there the other day and despite the name which, if my Spanish serves me translates to "here is Mexico" or suchlike, the place is run by a bunch of Salvadorans. Now, I have nothing against Salvadorans or their fine cuisine. Papusas and yucca are all fine with me. The only problem is that, as I believe I mentioned earlier, I NEED A FUCKING TACO. To my relief, they did have plenty of Mexican stuff on the menu, including tacos. I was also relieved to see that they served tacos con lingua-beef tongue tacos (if even one of you fluent-in-Spanish sons-of-a-bitches tells me I spelled this shit wrong I will curse. I know French was a poor choice of languages. crucify me.). Now, I’m pretty disinterested in eating tongue tacos in general, but tongue tacos are a good sign. They indicate that the restaurant has a predominantly Mexican clientele, which means that there are a few things you will NOT have to put up with. The first of these is the ubiquitous crunchy taco shell. I don't know where they got the idea for this but the idea sucks. Tacos come on two soft corn tortillas. Not crunchy and not those white flour things. They should be small. Like 5 inches in diameter. Second, They should have three ingredients: some kind of meat, cilantro and onion. There should be lime on the side. There should not be lettuce. There should not be tomato. There sure as hell should not be cheese. The existence of the tongue taco is a signifier that the establishment understands these things. I'm not sure anyone really orders these tongue tacos at all (I'm lying. They do.). I think it's just easier than putting a sign on the table that says "hey Mexican people! Fear not! This isn't one of those goddamned fake Mexican places that gringos seem to adore. We understand that tacos don’t crunch." Anyway, I ordered up a couple carnitas tacos. Though the presentation was spot on, the tacos were not as good as they could have been. I mean they were the best I’ve had in Charlottesville by a long shot but if I had been given these tacos in Santa Cruz I would have thrown them away (I’m obviously lying. I have never thrown away a taco). The Salvadoran fare was pretty good though.
Hey all you Charlottesville entrepreneurs! somebody buy a damned roach coach and park that shit on the downtown mall so I can get good tacos on my way home from work! I mean there's one on every block in fucking California; you'd think a metropolitan center like Charlottesville could get one! I mean we have a crepe store AND a fondue store for Jesus' sake! These things are what's wrong with Charlottesville. Tacos have the potential to be what's right.

3 Comments:

Blogger Stanley said...

Aquí es México is about as good as it gets, you're right. Have you tried El Paso, the Latino mart on the corner of Meade and Market? They specialize in (fucking delicious) burritos, but I bet they'd make a taco. A lot of those folks are from Guadalajara (the city, not the faux [but delicious; yeah, I have no shame]) restaurant. Not sure where your fancy California (I presume) tacos were consumed, but I bet those dudes could hook it up, even if tacos aren't on the "menu."

10:02 PM  
Blogger mgoddard said...

yeah, i've heard this about el paso. i've never gone farther than getting my nopales there but i guess i should give it a shot. maybe if i'm passionate enough...

6:46 PM  
Blogger Nate said...

Mike, lets go to El Paso soon!
Or: Aqui Es Mexico (El Tepeyac) for breakfast!

6:36 PM  

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