I'm not so sure "Doctor" Octogon is really a doctor at all...

I've been going to see music like every night for a while now. I've been on such a tear, and with such success that i was starting to think that i just might have lost my taste altogether. I mean, every show i have been to in a while has been pure gold. I can't remember the last time that i left a show feeling like it was anything but awesome...until last night.

I went to see Dr. Oc. at the Satellite. Now I'm usually not really into a hip hop band enough to go see them (I think the only hip hop show I've been to was the Roots...twice) but since my friends the Whoppaz (sic)(I don't know Q) were playing, i decided to go. Shit cost me 18 bucks. I missed the Whoppaz who were forced to start quite early to make time for like an hour and a half of DJs spinning records I mostly disliked. Then Keith took the stage. He did a lot of freestyling which is pretty impressive if done well, but really, he pretty much sucked. I feel like i could have done better, if only because mike rhymes with a lot of things, unlike keith, or octogon, or octogonocologist for that matter. Then came the part of the show where he passed out underwear to the women near the stage and had them come up and put them on over their clothes and dance while he sang about where he wanted to touch them etc. At this point the two men next to me started beating the shit out of each other. I mean really pounding away. After far too long, they were broken up. Keith continues singing about fucking women and also about his balls for a while. I tried to see it as sort of amusing but i failed. I started to feel real alienated and confused. I started to wonder all sorts of things about sexuality and what it's supposed to mean to be a man. i wondered at the fact that this man was being payed a bunch of money to say things way less important and interesting than the average things my friends say on any given day, backed by music worse than that which my friends make, except not played live even, but on records. Eventually i started to feel disgusted in myself for having sexual interest in women and for paying money to see dr. octogon. I stood around outside trying to feel better but didn't. I went home and felt sort of lost inside my own head. Pretty much the highlight of the evening was going outside to see an eclipse with (di)jon, jordan, lisa, nate and chelsea, that didnt even exist. Other than that i was trying not to look or feel like a weirdo all night. i would feel shitty still except that i did some yard work today after work which brought me back to the earth a little if you will.

usually i try to make some sort of point but i dont think i'm going to this time. fuck it. i'm too tired to think about all the angles involved in kool keith making me feel bad about sexuality. And besides, where the hell is my sense of humor...tomorrow morning i'll go to the farmers market and get some awesome tomatoes and other stuff. then i'll go spend all day managing the transit for a stupid-ass football game. then i'll come home to a party that will likely have started without me. that should be pretty good. i like most of the people i know pretty well.