Indianoplace

I've been hating Indianapolis for about ten years now. It's where my parents moved just as i quit college. After they left, i tried to stay in california, where i grew up, but i quickly found that i couldnt make it there. This had more to do with me being 19 and irresponsible than anything else, though i blamed everything from el nino to earthquake trauma for my failure at the time. I ended up moving back home to be with my parents while i got my shit together. It was during this stay that i developed in intense loathing for the midwest, Indianapolis specifically. I had trouble with the cold ass winters. I mean those stretches where it doesnt get above 0 degrees for like a week at a time...fuck that shit. There was something else about it that i couldnt really put a finger on. i mean, there was something so artificial about the suburban landscape surrounding the city...like, everything looked pretty good, but good in that way that those sugar cookies with the thick pastel icing on them look good. Like its supposed to look good, and you know if you actually tried to eat that sugary shit it would make you want to be ill. There was this thin veneer of new construction everywhere. Shit that was really poorly made so you knew that in like ten years, they'd be moving on to another ex-cornfield and building another cookie cutter house beehive. Like fucking locusts they are. Now, i didn't know too much back then but i knew enough to know that that shit was no good for anything and that as much as i hated the endless fucking cornfields, that had to be better than endless houses, stripmalls, freeways, you know. I fell into eating dinner every night with my parents. They seemed to think the best food one could ever eat was served at Chili's followed closely by TGIfridays. We ate at these places at least twice a week if not more. In the course of the year or a little more that i lived there, i made not one friend. I had jobs and coworkers and all that but i never made a friend. This sounds terrible but it was great because it allowed me to hone my skills and start a career as a professional photographer. Well actually that turned out to pretty much suck to so, yeah, it basically plunged me into a sea of hopelessness. I used to sneak bottles of scotch to my room and get wasted in the middle of the night (my parents are real religious so this was a big deal). My life was hell. It was all Indiana's fault. So, after surveying my options, i moved to Charlottesville. My life became better instantly. I've taken friends of mine who are curious to see if this place is as bad as i make it out to be home with me at vacation sometimes. Their reactions range from "that could have been worse" to "wow. shit. this place is the worst thing in the universe. but your mom was pretty nice". I'm sure there is no god because the only thing i've asked for from his ass in my life was for my parents to move away from indiana. it's not like it impacts me much, but everytime i get ready to go home for the holidays or whatever and people ask where i'm going, i have to say "indiana". and it pisses me off.

Until today. I just found out that my dad is quitting his job with United and moving to the FAA which will relocate him to Memphis Tenn., Home of Beale St., Sun records and Graceland. Now, I'm not stupid enough to think that Memphis is the greatest place in the world, but at least its known for something more than a stupid ass car race that isnt even good anymore. Good riddance Indianapolis! If i ever see your shit infested suburbs again it will be too soon. come nuclear bomb! rain hellfire upon the shit we've created! destroy all those cops who used to hassle me when i was out taking photographs of train engines at night. hasten the decay of the suburban sprawl!

There is a bit of sadness i must admit. i'll miss visiting the house where i watched my little sister proclaim that she was buddhist, wiccan, pentecostal and finally catholic (she's into the iconography), because none of the kids at school liked her. Behind this house is the spot where i ran the fastest 3 miles of my life(training in charlottesville makes you pretty fast on the flat ass cornfields of indiana). it is the city that first made me think of Urban Planning as something i could be passionate about. it is the culture that made me distrust capitalism, which, as bad as it may sound, has become one of my favorite qualities about myself. Won't i miss all of this?

Nah, Fuck it. Burn it.